Saturday, July 26, 2014

And Then Everything Changed

A few weeks ago, the girlfriend (who seriously needs a new nickname) went to the States for a training course related to her overseas job.  I knew beforehand that her absence was going to be difficult for me, but I didn't anticipate bawling my eyes out the entire way home from dropping her off at the airport, or waking up each morning feeling like the most important thing in my life was missing.  It was awful.

About four days into her trip, I got a call from the girlfriend while I was out for dinner with my Mom.  "Skype me when you get home?" she asked.  And so I did.  And when we Skyped, we realized that we were both miserable apart and that the idea of three years on separate continents was just too much.

So she came home.  For good.

I had expected that her return would be nothing but bliss, so I was a bit surprised when I spent the first 24 hours in a total panic.  "OMG she gave up a great job opportunity to stay with me and what if we aren't happy together forever and then she's miserable because she doesn't have her amazing job or me and what if she can't find a satisfying job here and what if the religious difference is actually too big a difference or what if she wants kids but I don't or I want kids but she doesn't or something else comes up that breaks us up and she spends the rest of her life regretting staying here with me instead of taking the job."  My brain is a horrible place to live sometimes.

Thankfully, the girlfriend can handle my shit, and so we spent hours talking about the things that we'd never really talked about because our relationship was just temporary.  Religion.  Money.  Careers.  Children.  It was awesome.

She's awesome.

And now I'm vastly happier, knowing that this relationship doesn't have a mandatory expiry date.  We both acknowledge that it may not be a forever relationship - that we have differences that we may not be able to or even want to overcome - but we're also happy that we get the opportunity to decide where our relationship is going without a deadline.

As for the next place it's going?  La Belle Province!  And in a weird but wonderful coincidence, we're leaving on the same day as the girlfriend was originally going to leave for her overseas job.

Est pas belle la vie?

Friday, July 4, 2014

And There Went June...

I suspect that last month was the first time since I started regularly posting to this blog that I've missed an entire month of blogging.  (I will resist being anal and going through my archives to confirm this.)  My lack of writing here is partly due to having fallen out of the habit during my year of soul-crushing exam preparation, but more so to the sense that the girlfriend and I have of needing to make every moment together count.  With her move now less than two months away, it feels like we need to spend every spare minute creating memories to carry us through the three years of separation.

And create memories we have.  At the beginning of June, I had two weeks of holidays, the first of which I spent at home on a glorious staycation.  On days when the girlfriend worked, I spent my time sleeping in and reading and generally being lazy; on the few days when the girlfriend wasn't working, we wandered the streets and ate in favourite restaurants and watched way too much Food Network.  We also did a walking tour of a historical district, which was a great way of learning some of the history of our city.  I took the pictures, while the girlfriend jotted down interesting facts in her notebook.  (Apparently she's just as geeky as I am.  I love it!)





For the second week, we rented a cabin a few hours outside of the city with the intention of hiking and canoeing and being out in the wilderness.  And then we discovered that 1) our cabin got high-speed internet and 2) the second season of Orange is the New Black had just been released, and it turned into a very lazy week of eating and sleeping and binging on Netflix.  I couldn't have asked for anything better.

The only time we left the cabin for an extended period of time was when we went on a day trip....to a grain elevator museum.  (Three guesses whose choice that was*.  The first two don't count.)  The girlfriend is clearly infinitely patient, as she drove two hours each way to see....grain elevators.  She even allowed me to stop at two grain elevators on the way to the grain elevator museum.  I think that's the definition of true love.






So that's part one of June.  Part two will have to wait, as I just spent way too long Skyping with the girlfriend, who is away for work, and I need to sleep rather than keep writing here.  Perhaps there will be two posts in July - yay! 

*For some reason, Blogger has decided to turn the pictures in my previous post sideways.  I may fix that someday when I have more patience and energy than I currently have.  For now, my apologies.  They're really cool pictures that you just can't appreciate because Blogger is buggy.

Friday, May 30, 2014

Preview

The girlfriend has been away for work for the past five days, and I've been shocked by how much I've missed her.  Being a committed introvert, when someone I'm dating goes on a trip, I usually feel a bit of relief.  Rather than feeling lonely, I welcome the silence of my newly empty apartment and the extra room to stretch out while sleeping.

This time?  This is me:

http://www.hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.ca/2011/10/adventures-in-depression.html

Sad, crawling around on the floor, wondering how time can go by so slowly just because one person is a few hours away.  My friends have stopped asking me how I am, because the guttural sound that escapes my lips in response is just too pathetic to listen to.

And it's only been five days.

I can only imagine how unbearable I'm going to be when she moves away in August.  I've already warned my friends to buy lots of wine.

And maybe ear plugs.

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

For the Moment

Early in our relationship, the girlfriend made mention of a job opportunity that she was looking into overseas.   I didn't think much of it at the time, as it seemed like one of those dream jobs that people fantasize about but never actually get.

A few weeks later, she mentioned that she had an interview.

A few days after that, she was offered the job.

At the time, the relationship was still new - too new for me to tell her that I wanted her to stay without sounding like a crazy person.  Too new for her to turn down the amazing job opportunity without sounding like a crazy person.  So she accepted the job.  And now there is less than three months until she flies to a foreign country, where she'll remain for the next three years.

If I were being completely logical, I would end things right now.  I would thank her for the past few months, give her back the guitar that has taken up permanent residence in my living room, extract her favourite CD from my car stereo, and begin the process of moving on with my life.  But since when has logic had any say in love? 

So instead, against the advice of multiple friends, I'm going to spend the next few months enjoying every moment I can with her.  Because she's awesome.  And I seem to be incapable of any logical thought when it comes to her.

Sunday, May 25, 2014

Thank All That Is Good In The World

The Royal College exam results were scheduled to come out at 12 PM Eastern time on Friday, May 23.  I took the day off of work, knowing full well that I would be a useless bundle of nerves before the results were released, and a similarly useless bundle of joy or despair afterwards.  The girlfriend and I had planned to go out for an early breakfast to distract me, after which I would be left on my own to cope as best as I could for the last few hours.

When I awoke in the morning, however, my phone was beeping with a series of text messages between members of my study group saying that the results were out early.  So at 7 am, in pjs and unwashed, I logged onto the site.

"On behalf of the Examination Board, it gives us great pleasure to inform you that you have been successful at the final examination in your specialty."

I had worked myself into such a state of anxiety about the results that I didn't quite believe them when I saw them.

"That means I passed?" I asked the girlfriend.  "Right?"

Yes, I passed.  After nine months of studying and cutting myself off from the world and experiencing some of the worst stress of my entire life, I passed my licensing exam.

Go me!