Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Horrible, Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Vacation Days

It seems like I have at least one every vacation.  It's always the same thing - I start the vacation off enthusiastically, looking forward to setting my own schedule and to seeing only the things that I want to see.  And for the first while I do enjoy it.  I check out some geeky science museums that no one else would want to visit.  I take a few hundred photos of the same building.  I read a book without interruption.

And then, it happens.  I have a day where I get tired of asking for a single ticket at attractions or where I've had enough of sitting alone in restaurants, and I find myself having the kind of horrible, terrible, no good, very bad vacation day that really should be banned by some higher power.  Such was today.  I wandered miserably through the California Academy of Sciences, overcome with thoughts of "woe is me", feeling like the loneliest and most dejected person on the face of the earth.

(I may be prone to melodrama)

The things is, I'm tired of vacationing alone.  And...well...to make things worse...there's this girl...

I probably shouldn't jinx things by even writing about it, but it's been consuming my thoughts unreasonably, so I'm throwing caution to the wind.  A few months ago, after my latest relationship ended, I found myself back on the online dating site.  I had no intention of actually messaging anyone, as I wanted to remain focused on my upcoming exam, but I convinced myself I could "just look".  (Hahahahhahahhaha)  While "just looking", I came across someone who not only could write a grammatically correct sentence but had also done some interesting things with her life.  I was very intrigued, but I stuck with my initial plan to not actually get involved, and so I didn't message her.

A month later, my resolve failed, and I decided to start messaging people on the site.  The only problem?  The interesting girl had stopped logging on.  So I messaged some other (less interesting) people and had one abysmal date that led me to want to never date again*.  And then the interesting girl reappeared.  And I messaged her.  Problem #2?  She was heading off to a remote location and would be out of internet contact for most of a month.

So I waited.  And then she returned to the world of the internet.  And we started chatting.  And rather than getting less interesting, she got more interesting the more we chatted.  To the point where I found myself really wanting to meet her...except that she was still away, and therefore meeting her was impossible.

And then she came back.  On February 14.  The day before I left for San Francisco.  And while I could, technically, have met her in the brief period of time when we happened to be in the same city, I thought that meeting on Valentine's Day might be putting a bit too much pressure on things.  So I left meeting until I get back home from San Francisco.

And so now, I find myself in a strange city, trying hard to enjoy my time off and to enjoy all of the amazing sites and tastes and smells of a hard-earned vacation.  But my mind?  My mind is back home, sitting in a coffee shop, awkwardly meeting the interesting girl who has consumed my thoughts for the past few months.

Damn dating.

*I will write about this sometime, as it has officially taken over the position of worst date ever, and I have been on a lot of really bad dates.  I just don't have the strength to write about it at the moment.


physician activist in training said...

Ugh, that is both the worst and best feeling! Try to enjoy the bay area though - I'm sure the weather is at least better than in Canada!

OMDG said...

That's just the worst. Totally been there too. But! You will most likely get to see her soon. Maybe go for a hike and try to clear your head? It's so beautiful out there... try to take advantage, and know you'll feel better soon.

thelesbiannextdoor said...

I'm so excited for you! I mean, not about the traveling alone part - but the meeting the new girl part! Not to jump the gun, but maybe next time you won't be traveling alone ;)

Good luck!!

dolce vita said...

That is no fun :( I hope things work out!
However, the West Coast has been KILLING it, weather wise :) Wish you were coming further north, but, glad that you're getting some recharge time.

Shannon said...

I can relate to this a lot! I graduate in 6 months, am in a capstone honors class and writing my thesis. I wish I could date. It would be great to have someone to share this with. But at the end of the day, I feel like I just don't have the time that building a solid relationship requires. So I continue to let my hotness go to waste...

Meanwhile, I will be rooting for you and this new possibility! This is the type of thing that gives me some hope that I might find someone special enough to turn my head some day.