I've been pretty quiet here as of late. I've been focusing inward, processing all of the change that is going on in my life - the change from resident to fellow, the change from having free time to studying hard core again, the change from dating to accepting my single status for another year. No...processing isn't quite the right word....resisting describes it better. I've been resisting the changes with every ounce of will I can muster, trying to keep my life in the comfortable place it has been in for the past few months.
Which obviously doesn't work.
I wish I knew how to be more flexible, more accepting, instead of raging against every unwelcome change in my life. I know that much of my distress as of late comes from my response to my situation rather than the situation itself, but I haven't figured out how to change my response. So I wallow in angst, feeling unsettled and resentful of everything that lies ahead.
But there is hope. My long weekend is filled with friends and family (and hopefully a relatively silent pager while on home call), which should leave me feeling recharged and refreshed. And there will be sleep - sweet, heavenly, glorious sleep. All things seem better when rested.
Which reminds me - I should sleep soon. Here's wishing everyone (myself included) a better day tomorrow.