For anyone who likes to play along with the Medical Monday blog hop, it's up once again at Your Doctor's Wife and her co-host's blogs. Please check it out for new blogs to follow and/or old ones to rediscover. And if you're visiting for the first time from the blog hop, welcome. Stay awhile and have a look around.
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I've been away from the blog for a while now because I've been in a bit of a funk* lately. It's one of those states where everything and nothing is wrong all at once, and there really isn't much to be done but to muddle through until my mood shifts again and life seems better. In the midst of my funk, I've been composing multiple variations on a resolution post (similar to last year's) in my head, and the very act of enumerating the many areas for improvement in my life has been making the funk worse. Thinking about all of the things that are wrong and the great distance that I need to cross to have a "perfect life" just leaves me feeling overwhelmed and incapable of change, which is really a terrible way to ring in a new year.
While thinking about possible resolutions, I had a moment of epiphany in which I realized that, even if I never again make a single change to the way I live my life, I will be perfectly fine. Sure, I would like to eat better and exercise more and study more efficiently and have better work-life balance and all of the standard things that people want to change about their lives, but none of these things are essential to my survival or to my ongoing happiness. So in the interest of not starting the year with a giant list of things to fail at, I'm going resolution-free this year. And it feels great.
Not to say that I don't plan to change in the future. I am, in fact, continuing on with my gradual process of self improvement, which at the moment includes meal planning on a more consistent basis and eating more vegetables and resisting the urge to reload games onto my iPhone and (new!) iPad. It's just that I refuse to focus any more on the deficiencies in my life or to defer my happiness and satisfaction until I have achieved some arbitrary list of things that would make me "better". My life is happening at this moment, and I intend to enjoy it as much as I can, imperfections and all.
*For the record, this is neither a terrible funk nor a depression. Just a downward blip in mood that is part of life. As they say, "this too shall pass".
6 comments:
So happy to see you back on the "Medical Tuesday" grid!
Completely understand the funk. I've had the funk from time to time and it DOES pass.
You know, at one point in my life, I found myself in an ocean of upheaval and drama. It wasn't until I experienced the same epiphany you had that all started to smooth out and fall into place.
I hope the same for you :)
Thanks for linking up with medical mondays - you are welcome any day of the week:-) I know that funk! And I am proud of you for not making an resolutions. We all have so much good that we do that gets overshadowed by all the things we feel we have to do to be perfect, when in reality we are pretty good just the way we are. And what kind of life would perfect be anyway? Not much fun I am guessing but I will never know:-) Happy new year!
I love this--and I agree wholeheartedly about you (and myself, for that matter): if you never change, you will be perfectly fine. Which is why I prefer to make new years goals rather than resolutions. It makes them more about things I want to do or experience rather than about changing my life (though they inevitably change my life because every experience does) (if that makes sense) (I'm totally talking in circles, aren't I?). This year my goal is to visit two new states. And take tennis lessons. And if I don't get to it, I'm not going to beat myself up about it.
January is a good time for a funk. The sun is not out mocking you, so you can wallow for a bit.
I've said it before, I think, but you are absolutely amazing for even considering any systematic form of self-improvement during residency! Definitely give yourself a break this year, you are indeed perfectly fine. I know I have an overly critical inner voice pushing me to be better better better, but I need to learn how to tell that b-t&h to shut up for a minute.
Your Doctor's Wife - I hope this epiphany will be the beginning of something wonderful! The funk gets a bit tiring after a while.
From a Doctor's Wife - I will also never know what perfect is like, so I'm learning to love all the imperfections.
Molly - Absolutely perfect sense, and it made me laugh. Two new states/tennis lessons sound like great goals. My goal right now is to (finally, after years of waiting) take photography lessons. My first one is scheduled for Saturday.
Ana - January seems to be a popular funk month. No sun, cold weather, no holidays to look forward to - perfect recipe for a funk. I am trying not to be too hard on myself, but I always struggle to find that balance between pushing myself enough to be productive and relaxing enough to be happy. I'll let you know if I ever figure out where exactly that balance lies.
I know that funk. I'm feeling it right now. I'm feeling your pain like a Saturday Night Live Bill Clinton...
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